DEVOTION: Week of March 8
It was one of those “lightning bolt” mission trips. The kind where every moment you feel God grabbing your attention–showing you something new, something different, something profound. Where you literally feel yourself changing right then, right there…never to be the same again.
Have you ever had that kind of experience?
It was a spiritual mountaintop. The highest of highs where I felt like I had seen heaven–there, on the other side of the world, surrounded by young people representing over 60 nations. Where saints sang in their own tongue, the blending of all voices and languages and dialects a pure symphonic beauty. It made me weep. Every day for nine days, I wept.
Have you ever had that kind of experience?
The return home felt like an eternal Sunday night, knowing Monday loomed right around the corner. I didn’t want to go back to normal. I didn’t want to face the job I had no passion for, a lifestyle that felt excessive, an existence void of the presence of heaven on earth. Something was birthed in me there. It was larger than me and filled every empty place. I left that country a different person, and I desperately wanted to cling to her.
The first week of reentry was hard. Each day at work it took every ounce of energy to not throw my computer to the ground and walk out the door. I talked to God incessantly — I hate this. I can’t do it. I don’t want this life anymore. My prayers then morphed into just, Please. Please. Please.
Driving to work one day, reflecting on the trip and mustering up all the good attitude I could, I was suddenly overcome by a scripture God pressed into my heart deeply:
“Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom.”
(Luke 12:32)
The tears sprung forth and my heart almost burst right out of my chest. I couldn’t bear the ache I felt. The Word, watering the change that was birthed on the trip, was glued to my soul. I began imagining what God meant and immediately began planning how I’d make it all happen. I mentally listed all I’d sell, how I’d tell my parents I was moving across the globe, and just what kind of visa would “trusting God and uprooting” require?
A few weeks later in church, as I closed my eyes in worship and sought God desperately, I was again immediately overcome with a scripture that sounded like it was being whispered into my ear—like a secret from a best friend that she just wants you to hear:
“Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing!”
(Isaiah 43:18-19)
And then the words “new thing…new thing…new thing” scrolled across my mind like a marquee, again and again and again.
The tears sprung forth and my heart wanted to burst out of my chest again…but this time it wasn’t an ache I felt, but a joy. A deep, simmering, reverential joy and I suddenly couldn’t wait to see what God would do next. My time had come. He was moving and I was so excited to be along for the ride. In my mind I saw how I’d quit my job and what it would feel like to walk off an airplane in a new country with several new phrases in a new language under my belt.
Every day became like Christmas. Is it today, Lord? Are you showing up today? What about tomorrow? Do I get this new life tomorrow?
Have you ever had that kind of experience?
What I didn’t know at the time was there’s a flip side to that verse in Isaiah…a shift that’s required to make that new thing possible. I didn’t realize that for God to do a new thing in me, something old had to die.
I didn’t know there were so many things that had to be pruned and cut back, and that for me at that time, it would lead to an excruciating and painful process if I resisted. (Reader, I resisted.) I didn’t know I’d immediately go into a time of crawling…into a wilderness of my own where Satan tempted me and was very very pleased to give me his kingdom for a very steep price.
I didn’t know God needed to kill my interpretation of His word, so I would be willing to accept His definition of it.
The birthing phase is incredible, full of joy and wonder and promise. But it’s the jumping off point in our transformation, not a place to remain forever. And if we don’t allow this process to happen the way it’s supposed to — if we don’t (with humility) allow our interpretations to die, we end up…
- …giving birth Ishmaels, like Abraham.
- …wandering the desert for 40 years, like the Israelites.
- …being sold into slavery, like Joseph.
- …making idols of everything other than Jesus.
God births what He births. It’s not up for interpretation or debate or compromise. And He intends to give life to it. But first it requires of us—it requires holiness and righteousness and an obedience to lay back down the very word He gave. To lay down our Isaac on the altar of God’s goodness.
It requires a willingness to hold up a mirror to our sinful selves and allow Him to purify us — so that our desires become His desires and then, He can be pleased to give us His kingdom.
And when we’ve allowed ourselves to lay it down and be purified, then we can begin our crawl.
QUESTIONS FOR THIS WEEK:
MONDAY
Maybe you’re wrestling with God right now because what you thought would come to pass seems to have died, and you’re left feeling an ache, frustration, desperation. Journal through your feelings right now, even if you’re struggling to find hope. Even if you’re struggling to trust Him. Be honest before Him, no matter how raw it feels.
“Every word of God is tested and refined [like silver]; He is a shield to those who trust and take refuge in Him.“ (Proverbs 30:5, Amplified)
TUESDAY
Can you look back at times in life when God’s promise for you ended up looking differently than you expected? Can you appreciate now how His definition of the promise was a million times better than your interpretation? It’s important to go back and reflect on how God worked in your life in the past, so you can build confidence He is working in your present. Journal about one of those times today, and praise Him for His mighty works.
“Yet I could never forget all your miracles, my God, as I remember all your wonders of old. I ponder all you’ve done, Lord, musing on all your miracles.” (Psalm 77:11-12, The Passion Translation)
WEDNESDAY
We have all experienced times when we rushed God’s word, birthing our own Ishmael and wandering in a desert for much longer than we should have been. And even though God still works on our behalf (despite getting in our own way), it’s hard to let go of the shame, regret, and angst we feel about those times. Spend some time today fully repenting for those times, and then once and for all, let go of the condemnation you feel. It doesn’t come from the Lord, and it’s what the enemy uses to render you ineffective where you are today. Repent, receive forgiveness, refuse regret, and go forward in peace.
“With the arrival of Jesus, the Messiah, that fateful dilemma is resolved. Those who enter into Christ’s being-here-for-us no longer have to live under a continuous, low-lying black cloud. A new power is in operation. The Spirit of life in Christ, like a strong wind, has magnificently cleared the air, freeing you from a fated lifetime of brutal tyranny at the hands of sin and death.” (Romans 8:1-2, The Message)
THURSDAY
God’s specialty is new things. He brings life from death, new from old, healing from pain. What new thing are you believing God for today? Trust that God will never go back on His word, that He is doing a new thing. But maybe today, be willing to let go of the expectations you have for how He makes that thing new. Allow Him to show you His definition, in His time. Lay your interpretations on the altar of His goodness, and give Him permission to orchestrate this storyline without your intervention.
“For God is at work within you, helping you want to obey him, and then helping you do what he wants.” (Philippians 2:13, The Living Bible)
FRIDAY
Jesus had the benefit of being divine while being human, so during His time on earth, His understanding of how God operates was greater than ours. So often, He spoke in the Bible in ways that were completely misunderstood by not just the masses, but even by His disciples. His definition of breaking the bread and drinking the blood was entirely opposite of what they could have conceived. His definition of what it means to lay down one’s life for his friends had an entire other meaning than what the masses interpreted. The living water Jesus offered the woman at the well wasn’t just colder and more refreshing.
If the disciples and those who interacted with Jesus in the flesh had a hard time figuring out His words, then maybe we need to give ourselves a little grace when God speaks to us, too. Maybe when His promise comes to us, instead of immediately assuming what it means, we need to put it away, mediate on it, treasure it in our hearts, then trust He will show us what it means when the time comes.
Pray today you would have the patience to wait and the peace to be still as God works all things together for the good of those who love Him. (That’s you.)
“This plan of mine is not what you would work out, neither are my thoughts the same as yours! For just as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than yours, and my thoughts than yours.” (Isaiah 55:8-9, The Living Bible)
WANT TO HEAR MORE?
Go back and listen to one of our earlier podcasts on the Birthing phase of transformation, from the series Be Transformed and Fly.